I’ve been very quiet on here for a number of reasons. If you’re a mom or have any kind of busy schedule, I’m sure you’ll be able to relate to this.
Here’s how the last 4 months of my life have went.
October: Found out I was pregnant! [ insert excitement here!! ]
November: Experienced all kinds of extreme exhaustion that is expected in the first trimester, yet this time around I had the joy of chasing my one year old.
December: It finally hit me that I was actually pregnant and this was really happening [ insert any and all emotions here ]
January: My whole family gets sick. Husband had pneumonia, son had a really bad cold and I ended up with bronchitis.
I think it’s safe to say things have been somewhat busy. If you missed my announcement, I’M PREGNANT! My husband and I have definitely desired to continue growing our family. We were trying to get pregnant, (didn’t happen to try very long) and are thankful the Lord has blessed us with this pregnancy. But can I just tell you how different this pregnancy is?
With my first born, I was able to really soak up all the joys of pregnancy! I loved anticipating each new phase of pregnancy. Being able to buy maternity clothes and embrace the baby bump was the best. When I was tired, I was able to take a nap! My husband and I could spend time with just the two of us as often as we would like. I was still teaching which was part of my identity. Even once Luke was born, it was him and I. I got to focus so much on him and I have loved every second.
But let me just tell you. This pregnancy has been so much different. Don’t get me wrong, I am still overjoyed with the fact that I am able to carry this child and knowing I am experiencing another miracle who will be Luke’s sibling gives me so much joy.
But for some reason, I just have so much anxiety about the unknown of what life will be like with two.
Knowing how busy Luke already is, and then adding another baby into the mix has my mind going a million miles a minute. Knowing I have to take my wants out of the equation even more to make sure my babies have what they need makes me screech a little. Just thinking how the idea of “me” time has changed even in the last year, is about to change even more may or may not have shed a tear. There are so many unknowns and so many what if’s.
I’ve found myself sitting in the family room while Luke and I play with the same toy or read the same book and try to figure out how I should continue making the most out of life.
But here’s the thing, I’ve never been one to sit and wallow or play the woe is me game. That’s just not my style. I’ve always tried to figure it out. I’ve always been the one who tries to do the next thing. But this time around, it has just taken me a little bit longer.
The other day, Luke and I got out of the house for the first time in a long time. After being sick, we literally were stuck inside for what seemed like a few weeks. Our destination may have been his one year checkup, but this small trip was such a gift to me. I was a little anxious going to the appointment considering this was his first appointment where it was just him and I. (He also had to get a few shots, which is never a good time) Luke fell asleep on the way to the docs office, which was extremely rare and just allowed me some quietness while I drove. It was so peaceful! Luke seriously rocked his appointment and had the nurses and doctors cracking up. The shots weren’t near as bad as anticipated and we walked out of the office with a smile on both our faces. While the ride home was just as peaceful as the ride there, I found my mind beginning to wander into this creative world that I absolutely love. It had been a while since this had happened. Usually when it does, I come up with an idea to rip the upstairs hallway carpet up, redo the basement, or sign up for something completely new.
This may sound literally ridiculous, but that little trip gave me encouragement that I need to just do the next thing. Life does not need to be put on hold and I, as a person, still exist. I can’t worry about what life will be like when the baby gets here. That is not a productive use of time. “Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself.” – Matthew 6:34
So here’s my goal. I’m going to take each day at a time. I’m going to take on each day and make the most of it. If it is mass chaos, well, tomorrow is a new day. Life may look different than it did even a year ago, but that’s life! It’s going to continue to change and if I don’t embrace what the Lord has blessed me with, then I’m not doing myself, or my family justice.
Here are some ways I have tried to encourage Luke and I to have productive and positive days:
- Get Involved: I am so thankful for my sister in laws! Being in the same season of life with them having kids has been wonderful! One of my sister in laws suggested that I take Luke to Zumbini. Luke absolutely loves to dance and I thought this would be such a fun way to get the cousins together and do something fun.
- Get out of the house at least once a day: This is an absolutely must anymore. ESPECIALLY in the winter. These winter months are so dreary and can be depressing to say the least. I make it a point to get both of us out of the house at least once. I find that not only does my mood improve, but Luke’s does too. Target is one of our go to spots, along with the mall and grandma’s house!
- Always spend time with the Lord: Whether it be for an hour while Luke is napping, or 5 minutes before he wakes up, I need me some Jesus! If I have extra time, I am really enjoying “The Quest” by Beth Moore. Such a powerful study that really leads you into intimacy with Christ. There are great plans on the Bible app that are very encouraging for moms that only take 5 minutes. The current one I am reading is “Lies Moms Believe (& How The Gospel Refutes Them).