I’m about to be 100% honest with you. I feel like my world is spinning a million miles a minute and it’s all I can do to keep up. There are so many things I want to accomplish in a day, but only so much time. I’m so thankful the Lord has blessed me with an amazing husband whose business is thriving, a beautiful baby boy, and a new photography business with a calendar that continues to get filled. But with all this comes more responsibility. So here’s the truth – I’m sitting here, feeling like I haven’t been able to give 100% of myself to a single thing all due to lack of time. I’ve realized my personality is one that likes to be in control. (I said I was being honest, right?). But one thing I don’t have control over is how much time is in a day.
So I tend to be hard on myself and get frustrated when I haven’t responded to an client, or got the laundry done during the day. I find myself feeling guilty when I don’t have as much time as I would like, to sit and play with Luke. I I desire to give of my time, but when my time is limited I’m at a loss.
Guess what, all these things I’m feeling, are real. There is truth to these emotions because they are my emotions and they can’t be ignored. These emotions continue to build and build which means I tend to get overwhelmed.
My mom once told me that my circumstance should not define my character. I remember her writing this out for me when I was a freshman in high school and it hung on my mirror for four years. Every morning I would wake up and read this, only to remind myself that my circumstances cannot always be controlled, but my character should portray my heart.
I think of this often in my life today. Circumstances change season after season. I’ve found that my character has been influenced but not defined by each situation. My prayer through this season of life is that I have no regret. I pray that each day I will make the most of what the Lord has so generously given to me. I know I may not have as much time to do exactly what I would like to get done in a day’s time. I may not be able to give 100% of myself to every single thing, but one thing I know is that I am giving as much as I possibly can. That’s all I can do and I am okay with that.
When I look back on my day as I’m laying in bed, I want to be able to fall asleep knowing I gave the day the best I had. Some days the best I have looks like putting the laundry aside to spend time with Luke. Some days the best I have looks like helping my husband with the backend of his business. Some days the best I have looks like making sure the house is in order and the dishes are put away. And some days the best I have looks like filling myself back up so I can pour back into others.
I’m curious if any one can relate? When you have a life filled with to do’s and it’s merely impossible to check off the list each day, what does the best you have look like? How does your character look in the midst of your circumstance?